|
I was a student of
Elizabethan Poetry at the central campus
of Broward Community College in Davie, Florida.
Forsooth, BCC, as it is popularly known,
did not, and still does not, offer any courses
in Elizabethan Poetry, or any other form
of poetry for that matter; but I was, and
remain, nevertheless, a student of Elizabethan
Poetry and am recognizable as such by my
pink stockings, purple breeches, lavender
codpiece, aquamarine doublet with grosgrain
trim and ivory buttons, and the large feathered
cap I wear atop the curly golden locks that
frame my cherubic, pink-hued face.
.
. .
At any rate, I had
but just finished giving an impromptu, free
reading of some of my work in the school
library, cut short by some carbuncle-besotted
work-study drone who threatened to “call
the campus police” if I did not “get
down off the table and shut up,” when
I overheard some fellow students mention
that they intended to go to the “Pub”
after class.
|
|
|
|
Her shoulder-length
tresses, stringy, limp, and of a purplish-reddish
hue did at once serve unto me as a sign
that royal blood did course through her
veins. Her sunken cheeks and delicate features, framed by this majestic
coiffure, did radiate with a garish, greenish
glow à la Henri-Marie-Raymond de
Toulouse-Lautrec, and, coupled with the
slightly pockmarked condition of her skin,
did bring to mind the concave form of Selene
herself on a cloudless night. . . . She
wore the garb of a tavern wench, and, as
I neared her, I could see from the identification
“tag” pinned to her bosom that
the Christian name of this Faerie-like creature
was “Lulu,” and that the eatery
at which she plied her craft bore the fanciful
name, “The Clock” . . .
.
. .
Ah, but my coy Queene
did break off our optic connexion, and then,
shaking her head slightly from left to right,
did turn back towards the “bar.”
In a most bizarre drinking ritual did she
lick her thumb (Oh, to be that thumb!),
sprinkle salt on the wetted area, then pick
up a small wedge of what appeared to be
some sort of green citrus, perhaps a lime,
with the hand upon which she’d sprinkled
the salt. In one fluid motion did she lick
the salt from her hand, raise a small glass
to her lips, throw her head back slightly
whilst simultaneously swallowing the elixir
in the glass (Oh, to be that elixir!), and
bite down upon the wedge of citrus.
|
|
|
|
Although
at first in such a state of shock, as soon
as the realization hit me, so as to not even
be able to react at all, I was making ready
to intercede, when Amber Lee placed a bowl
of “potato chips” in my hands
and said, “Put this on the table, then
come back for the cocktail weenies.”
Naturally, I would do
whatever it took to be of some help to this
unfortunate maiden, and would have had a word
or two for the beast on my way to delivering
the “potato chips“ to their designated
place on the table, had not Lulu grabbed me
by the arm and hissed into my ear, “You’ll
keep yer goddamn mouth shut if ya know whut’s
good for ya.”
Upon re-entering the
“living area,” I immediately did
see Amber Lee’s assailant (whether husband
or lover I did not know then, though I would
later find out that the two were, in fact,
married) chortling loudly with several other
large men, and did endeavour to heed my Beloved
Queene’s advice. Were that the end of
the night’s affair, I should be sickened
enough, Dear Diary, but the night was young,
and the revelries only beginning to get under
way.
|
|
|
|
“Goodly
sir, my name is Percivel Hogsbottom and I—”
“—Lulu!
Some gah here to see you! Name’s Percimal
Hogsomethin! Dressed lahk a goddamn fruitcake!”
“Sir, if I may,
a word with you on the front step?”
The man looked at me
quizzically but then stepped outside and closed
the door behind himself.
“Would you by
any chance be Lulu’s pater?” I
inquired.
“Her whut? Hell
no, Ah’m her father. Whut’s it
to ya?”
“A pleasure to
meet you, sir,” I said as I extended
my hand, “a pleasure indeed!”
He looked at me, still as if quite perplexed,
but shook my hand anyway, such that I thought
the bones would be crushed.
“Let me begin
by saying you have raised a truly lovely,
lovely young woman.”
|
|
